Writing

my thoughts today are not inspired
no deep emotions stoke the inner fire
no image scampers out across the page

the world bursts in with wings and horns
distracting me, declaring I’m no poet
all my hopes bereft, forlorn

poems are made of dancing words
delicious words that tumble out
marked with flows and rhythms

they skitter-scatter on the page
they fascinate, seductive
they have power and strength

imposing form upon it
an ode, a ballad, sonnet
I try to see connections
until they find direction
seeking out….
what’s that word?….
ah yes – perfection

Good Morning Soul

Good morning Soul
What a bright sunny day!

My Soul smiles at me
”I’m so glad you feel that way
as the day holds some
challenges
choices
I hope you are well prepared,
as I suggested?”

”Ah my Soul,
is not all life a preparation?
If it’s a challenge
I expect I can manage
I always get by somehow
If it’s a choice
I hope to make a wise one”

There is a doubt
at the back of my mind
about this
but I don’t express it

”What worries me”
said my Soul
”Is you don’t always
avoid the damage.
Ask your heart
how it feels
about this approach.
Are you sure
you are being honest
with regard to the toll
it all takes?”

If I can’t tell my soul
who will I tell?
So I admit
I tire of some struggles.
I ask for further advice.

My soul smiles again
with a tender expression.
”See it all as simple lessons.
One step at a time.
No pressure.
In the final days
it is I who will judge you
with compassion
and understanding.
I love you
above all things.”

I was so glad to hear this.
I may reach a place
where we both are at peace
without further need
of compassion.
All I must do
is save my own Soul
by loving it
more completely.

The Riddle of the Moon

when i visit with Freya the world hides away
always the unwelcome guest at the table
there is no room for me under the sun
i am derided, avoided, despised
i am named as all that is bad
they say that i follow false gods
even the gods of Valhalla blamed me
when they counted me amongst them,
as one eternally treacherous, mad
they stole a month of my time
while i count the circling of moons
ascending, resurrecting, enlightening
have no fear of me, welcome me in
who am i?

The Apples We Stored Away

consider the apple
a treasure
brilliant flowers in spring
ranging from pink to white
a light aroma lifts the spirit
of all who pass close by

decorate your chambers
with blossoms
beauty, bounty of life
after the glory of blossoms
come the succulent fruits

consuming the apple
a journey to paradise
in the presence of love

long past the time of ripeness
when the waves of passion subside
the apples we stored away
soften and wrinkle
their warm fragrance lingers
filling our rooms in winter
where we sit long into the night
in simple companionship

 

Undefeated

All windows locked, no door, no sanctuary,
no hopes, no kindness, all dreams your nightmares
in this world, of your creation, only you
spreading your despair

Locking loveliness away with bitter hate,
dread fate, you hover over me, a demon.
Is this the best that you can find to hurt me?
I have my own mask

Masked and silent, with my stomach clenched in fear
I fly a million miles away, never near.
You shut me in a darkened room, I vanish
I wear my own wings

You cannot reach inside my mind, never will.
There is a light you can’t extinguish. It burns,
buried under night, it glimmers softly still.
I have my own light

You mistook me long for one who cannot see.
I know you, I see you struggling in your hell.
I cannot help you, break the spell or reach you.
I can’t set you free

I will go from here one day. I’ll forget you.
You’ll remember how I tried to bring you light.
No doubt you’ll see that as a greater torment.
I won’t be haunted

When I escape, the sun will shine the brighter
in a world that’s new to me, reborn from dark,
clearer, stronger, its definitions sharper.
This is not defeat.

Alphabet

At school I sat and stared at squiggles
Because I never read a word
Confusing shapes like spider legs.
Dunces cap cast its shadow
Enough to make ambition freeze
Failure seemed a certain end.
Growing, shrinking, twisting, curving
How could I make sense of words
Inspiration hovered round
Just out of reach, across a bridge
Kept away from me by nerves.
Love of story drove me on.
Maybe one day I would write.
No idea where to start
Opening books to begin.
Poetry awaited me.
Questions filled my childish mind,
Romantic notions, heroes tales,
Secret places hid in dreams.
Time ran on, escaping fools,
Under teachers piercing eye.
Visions were distracting me.
Wrong again. I muttered, stammered.
X X X wrong wrong wrong
‘You are very slow’ she said
Zealous whip above my head

Now

don’t look back

may be sound advice

where should i look then

the door

the window

the floor

the keyboard?

there is nothing to see

here in this room

if i look back

i may find a new light

to shine on each moment

just passing

now

 

Yes

following the lane, walking up the hill

talking of our dreams, ambitions and hopes

yes, it was moonlight, yes, we were young then

this memory, so strong, always returns

 

i wonder why a momentary walk

comes back so clearly again and again

we wandered less than a mile in the dark

it held pure perfection, yes, it was love

 

yesterday the thought brought me a smile

today it hurts enough to make me cry

an image etched on my brain and my heart

yes, i grow tired remembering you

 

 

 

Toss a Coin

I sang my heart out in the summer street,
a child, happily singing to myself.
The street was empty. As if from heaven
a coin fell at my feet, shining in the sun.
My grandfather threw it from a window.
His secret. An early wrong impression.

I never have cared too much for money.
I never had very much either but
it’s an arrogance to say so, I think,
when I have enough food on my table
and a warm bed to crawl into at night,
free medical care and education

To say I have little is far from true.
I have what I earned. Maybe not my due.
Money has no flow, it’s stuck on a peak,
a thin trickle flowing down to dry earth.
In a hollow game where the odds are stacked
the rich give kind charity, after theft.

Oh yes, you can rise from poverty
if you are lucky. Work is not enough,
neither is merit. Poverty kills Will.
Try rising from the grind of the bottom
when hope has died generations ago,
it’s all a matter of accepting fate.

I have one picture in my head forever.
A party in the house of Dr. Prem.
He boasted to me that his name means Love.
He invited me around to admire his wealth.
He told me he donates to charity.
He practises yoga every day at dawn

Ah yes, a very fine man indeed was he.
Celebrating his daughters birthday
we had a fine meal too, ending with cake.
The cake was cut. We stood in a circle.
I passed a plate to the silent servant
”No, not her” he said. ”She’s Untouchable.”

Money brands everyone, blessed or untouched.
So enjoy your dinner in the restaurants
while the poor sleep rough on our city streets
in Agra, London, Paris, New York.
Don’t let them put their empty hand on you.
The bad luck of the poor may be catching