Author: A. Gouedard

Answered

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quite long but don’t be daunted

lifelessons's avatarlifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

 
What happens to someone like her as she gets older?
–from Luck, by Joan Barfoot


Answered

She loses her balance, starts to fall.
Once in the kitchen, three times in the hall.
Finds it harder to remember, spends more time alone.
Speaks her mind more freely, less likely to atone.
She starts attracting cats that come inside and do not leave.
Wears frays in her clothing–hemline, neckline, sleeve.
Starts forgetting passwords–sometimes the names of friends.
Her search for keys and glasses never really ends.
Starts waking in the nighttime to contemplate her death.
At midnight, has to go outside to try to catch her breath.
Counts the years before her instead of those behind.
She could live to one hundred if fate is being kind.

Will she live her last years with sister, lover, friend;
or will animal companions help her meet her end?
Will anybody mourn her?…

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Faded Charts

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Perhaps it isn’t wise to love a sailor.
Good things sweep away in summer storms
but the tides are unpredictable
and times have changing patterns
when the breezes shift.
I left my compass in the cupboard
wrapped in faded charts
and i couldn’t see the stars.
I should have thought before I lifted anchor.
I should have thought before we left the land.
I can only tell you that I’m sorry
that I had to loose your hand.

Sonnet for Juniper

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I love you in the morning when you wake.

I love you when I wait to hear you speak.

I love you ev’ry time I glance at you.

I’ve loved you from the start. We lost our way.

All the things you felt, you didn’t say.

Through storms and floods I tried to find your hand.

Yes, loving you became a part of me.

It didn’t break. It wouldn’t go away.

When you walk in the room, I start to breathe.

I feel you all around me ev’rywhere.

My heart’s too full to speak. No need for words.

So when the day grows quiet beside the fire

I may say less then, than I said before,

but wrap you in my arms and love you more.

How Could I Love You Less

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You were a mess,
but I loved you.
I left,
but I loved you still.

You went through denial,
anger and shock,
bereavement,
acceptance of blame.
I loved you still,
just the same.

In your pain, I saw
how hard you were trying
to work your way through your loss,
to know yourself with more depth.
I was impressed.

Now that I see how you love me,
how could I love you less

Back Again

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The fire is laid.
The house is furnished
and here we are,
hopeful lovers,
passing by this way again.

No doubt the storms may sometimes blow.
We both still need to learn and grow.
This time though, it’s not the same.
Fear wont drive us both away.
The fire burns warm.
I fixed the roof against the rain.

This time darling,
through your tears,
you grew strong.
I couldn’t leave.
I had to stay.
You’re not alone.
We made it home.

Sorry is a useless thing

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I blame you for this darling,
with your torments, your fears
and your floods of hot tears
and the way that you tear us apart.

I was right to turn you away
but I should have foreseen
and I should have waited
to see where the river would flow.

There were innocent victims in this
and sacrifices of love,
for, from and of,
and more than one gift that was given.

I should have seen from the start,
but lovers are so often blinded
and mostly i blame my own heart

Love Remains

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lost love is
a severed limb
that bleeds
and seeps
and drains
lost love is
a drag in my guts
turning me inside out
a pull
a pain
a throb
lost love
is a heavy chain
until it turns back to shimmering gold
and all the loving memories,
all the ones so true,
become warm and sweet again

Crashing

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i have been in a train wreck
slow motion
with grinding wheels
my body is shuddering
frozen
i shake in every limb
in the midst
of debris
i sit
in classic symptoms of shock
trying to think
and feel

the thing i most need
is calmness
to see the future clear

i saw you
and then you vanished

i thought it a very bad omen indeed
it clenched my heart
in fear

i told myself
this wont happen again
but it did
over and over
crashing
you kept on crashing
but you made it back
in the end

Rain Storm

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after thunder came the rain

good times will return again

grass enriching the landscape
doesn’t look quite the same

from my window
all the things that I saw
don’t look quite the same anymore

in the desert, roses bloomed
while you sat quietly in your room

revelations can come from anywhere
but they never come too soon

Leaving (poem for Safi)

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great things are done
where mountains meet
it’s an uphill steady climb
the road is long and strange

i met a guy
who seemed to float
above the clouds
– a beat above it all

i had a sister
clear and strong
wherever i turned
and switched
and roamed
she always came along

i had a lot of laughter too
and fine and funny friends
strangers were often kind
there was love
given and felt
but everything ends
in the end

in the end
it’s the way it goes

it’s all quite simple really
but I am still surprised
the world is very different now
through newly opened eyes
the things i saw
won’t be seen again
because they changed my life
so i cut my hair
and turned my back
on the darkness
of before

now farewell illusions
and farewell chains
hello freedom
hello truth

i won’t be round this way again
things have a natural end