Haunted House

These ghosts are more than memory.
I saw them once or twice
when time slips sideways, ajar.

I enter the room and feel them,
feel the warmth on the arm of a chair
where his hand leaned a moment ago.
I know he left by the opposite door.
There is a slight disturbance
sketched on moving air,
as real as the solid oak table
and the light on the polished floor.

It is winter now.
The house is cold and damp.
The ghosts hang like a fine sea mist
by the dying, darkening fire.

At night he climbs the stair,
always ahead of me, here

We don’t intrude or disturb them.
We live with them side by side.
When I am gone, they’ll still be here.

I turn out the light
and walk in the dark
knowing they do the same.

brown pebble

i have a pebble
smooth and brown
with a sheen
but unpolished
it sits secure
in the palm of my hand

we went to the garden
just the two of us
i carried a spade
and the ashes
the day was fair
and no breeze blew
my father made
this sheltered space
down among the roses
and here i dug the heavy earth
no marker for this grave
i picked up a pebble
held it
a secret no-one shared
we said a few words
we stood in silence
my mother turned away

i have a pebble
smooth and brown
with a sheen
but unpolished
it sits secure
warmed in the palm of my hand

small
significant
so easily lost

regret

i wish that i had gone the other way

if i went out the other door that day

i could have been more honest than i was

i would have told you if you asked

i couldn’t even know you cared back then

i should have told you how much I loved you still

that day when –

if only is the saddest phrase

i know I’ll make the same mistakes again

I am my home

I am
Granite
Moss
Grain
Ocean
River
Rain

Hacked and carved
from blue grey granite
cloaked and cushioned in moss

the deep dug roots of twisted trees
reach down in the dark of my bones

ocean air bends branches down
clutching at my hair,
but still, I am not there.

Aware of the flow of rivers,
the wide slow curve of the river,
through green and rolling hills,
I am swept away to another place
to rest in fields of grain.

My spirit wanders far from home.
I fall in summer rain

Transported

The past returns
as I round a curve
in the path by the river.
On warm summer air
the scent of syringa,
sweet, astringent,
delicate, transient,
transcending;
I am five again,
in the garden
by the slope.
I run downhill
my arms outspread

Corporate Coupling

the lovers declare their mission statement,
outlining their mutually shared goals
to maximise human potential
through alternative methodologies,
– forgetting to say, I love you.

Developing compelling expertise
they interactively benchmark each other’s thighs
to rapidly integrate hyperscale schemas
in exponential progressive growth
and that’s just the start of their foreplay

they seemlessly undermine all systems
to accelerate ease of accessibility
until they achieve ultimate linkage
resorting to plug and play technologies
and agreed cross-storage content

with just-in-time metrics
and 360-degree feedback
they ratify resolution
and end with a corporate sigh
that ripples the water cooler

Joy

a closed padlocked door
is thrown open wide
sunlight and air
flood into the room
because of the promise
you made

you come
with your hopes
alight and aflame
and your dreams
that shine in the dark
you unbind my chains
you warm my cold heart
the secret is in your name

If Only

If we could, if we did,
If the time was right
If I understood all you said
If you had loved me more
If I had loved myself
If I had listened to you
If you had trusted me
If it had all been different
If only

If only the fates hadn’t conspired
and left us no choice and no power
we’d be somewhere else
not ourselves at all
and would that be better for us?
who can tell?
when I think of all that
it like hell
and no heaven in reach
only circles
they go round and round on themselves

If only
If wishes were horses we’d ride them
across the far planes
out to the wide shore
the landscape of all that’s possible
with no hill too high
like free birds we would rise up and sore
If only we could decide what’s best

If only – a phrase I despise
I’d rather live in the moment
and make an attempt to be wise
and learn from where we have been

Paranoia

we went out late that night again
the moon was full above the wood
our shadows stretched and shifted

we could have gone another time
it all could be quite different but
we went out late that night again

i wish we’d gone another way
i wish we’d gone the time before
our shadows stretched and shifted

before i lost you in the wood
you hoped to see the stars and so
we went out late at night again

the path we took became unclear
the moon was hidden by dark clouds
our shadows stretched and shifted

if you had trusted all i said
we would have stayed at home instead
we went out late that night again
our shadows stretched and shifted