I have a ballon
Red, naturally
That follows
Wherever I go

I took to calling
It Lucy, and
Let it come into
My home

Now, I’m afraid
I’ve made the most
Grave mistake
Of my whole life

For Lucy won’t leave
She’s always hovering,
Right between me
And my wife

We tried having
A romantic dinner,
Just the two
Of us there

But Lucy
Just wasn’t having it,
So she rubbed me
And clung to my hair

Now, try to imagine
My wife’s distress
It left her
Paleand reeling

When Lucy
Came into the bedroom
That night and stuck
Herself onto the ceiling

“That’s it,”
My wife said,
“I’ve had enough!
This balloon has to go.”

She ran and found
A safety pin
But Lucy
Started to grow

She grew and grew
Until she filled
The room
And I couldn’t breathe

When my wife came back
And pricked her side,